1 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.

16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.

17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

18 Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

This composition seeks to embody that torment. It begins with a quiet, somber melody in the trombone, paralleled in perfect 12ths with a muted trumpet. The sound recalls a hollow organ stop: church-like in its holiness, yet empty and cold. The melodic cry mutates through strangely contorted harmonies, as if the prayer itself is diseased. A constantly shifting heartbeat pulses beneath, struggling to sustain life under the crushing burden of guilt.

At roughly the golden ratio point, the music erupts into agonizing harmonic clusters at an extraordinary volume—like a spiritual patient undergoing surgery without anesthesia. The climax is brutal, unrelenting, and raw. The piece concludes with one last dissonant heartbeat: a soul that longs to die but cannot.

This work is the first in a diptych. Its companion piece, Miracle of Forgiveness, offers resolution and grace after the tormenting process of sore repentance.